Valentine’s Day, The 2-Day Diet, burgers and back fat

I start today’s blog on Valentine’s Day, and for me today is a day associated with sumptuous romantic meals for two paired with heart shaped chocolates galore, all washed down with red wine or something cold and sparkly.

Well, not today. I’ve already told the other half that I need to be good and eat well tonight, so we’re having a romantic evening of steamed salmon and veg, washed down with sparkling water. Who says romance is dead?! I know he still loves me though because for my Valentine present he bought me a pair of shoes, as he knows I can’t eat shoes and then complain, ha!

You might be thinking, have a night off Laura, you deserve it, but an Indian takeaway accidentally fell into my mouth on Saturday, so I better not. However, I did have another booze free weekend, which is a miracle in itself.

So you may remember that in my last blog that I was sans wedding dress. Well, great news, for I am now with wedding dress, and not just any wedding dress, a size 12 wedding dress. As someone who was spilling out of size 18s back in the day, this is a wonderful feeling, the main one being someone actually wants to marry me still after living with me all these months, and two, A SIZE BLOODY 12!! However, I still need to lose a few pounds for the dress to fit me comfortably, and so virtuous Laura must outweigh any urges to eat carbs covered in cheese. I now however have five months to lose a bit of back fat so I can get the damn thing on as this is where I may struggle.  I’ve visions of getting to July when the dress is due to be delivered, and cursing the fact I didn’t buy the size 14 as I’m bursting out of the material like a pale Northern Incredible Hulk like figure. The lady did however reassure me that my measurements were nearer the 12, and it was right to order that size. But how does one lose back fat? I’m going to have to Google that now.

So, I have just Googled back fat exercises. Looks like I’ll have to become a dab hand with dumb bells whilst squatting forward.

I’ve already told AC that on our USA honeymoon, we’ll have to book two seats for me on the way back, as I intend to eat my way around America. I know I shouldn’t say this as I’m not just on a diet right now, I’m on a ‘lifestyle change’, but I’d hate to think of going to America and not allowing myself to eat everything I want to, which will most definitely include pancakes and burgers on a daily basis! I bet my back fat will return with vengeance after the honeymoon.

Ah well, what’s a bit of back fat between husband and wife.

What do they say, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, for thin backs and fat arses, till death do us part, amen.

I realise I sound like a lunatic, and I’m obsessed with food, but I just love to eat and in vast quantities too. If only my exercise uptake was taken with such gusto. I need my happy median because running for me just doesn’t equal a healthy heart and mind, it means I can eat cake and not feel guilty, and who doesn’t love a slice of guilt free cake.

Talking of cake, we’re booked in for our wedding cake consultation in April, and we get to try all the different flavours. I already know I want just Victoria Sponge, and so there’s no need to try all the different varieties, but I couldn’t help myself, and agreed to taste it all. I hope my cake lady doesn’t read this, but you never know, maybe I’ll want more flavours (lies,lies,lies, I just want to want to eat all the cake, and will still choose a plain Victoria Sponge).

This really isn’t going to help the back fat loss.

On that note, off to go shop for my romantic steamed salmon dinner.

Cupid eat your heart out.


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I take up my writing again a few days later, and I’d like to tell you that the salmon dinner was a success, but I’d be lying. This is because the salmon turned out to be a burger. Not quite sure how that happened.

And like Jesus at the Wedding at Cana, my water miraculously turned into wine.

But we won’t dwell on that.

For the majority, I’m actually doing really well, and massively pleased with my progress. People are really starting to comment on my weight loss now, and it feels so good to fit into clothes again that I haven’t worn for ages. I even went out last night without wearing my massive Bridget Jones hold me in knick knack paddy whacks. My confidence is soaring, and I just feel more in control, especially since I started back at the gym. I’m 2lb off a two stone loss now, which is a brilliant achievement, but it’s the mental progress that I’m more pleased with.

I’m off to The Lakes in the morning for the weekend, and I can’t wait to go out and feel really good for the first time in ages. When you’ve been controlled by food for the majority of your life, it feels wonderful to know that you’re the one in control at long last. I’m definitely going to indulge whilst I’m there, but not over indulge like I normally would.

People say they eat something calorific and it goes straight to their hips, I just hope my weekend doesn’t go straight to my back!

Until next time.